Archive for April, 2010


April 23, 2010

I’ve seen a few misconceptions regarding the whole asexuality thingy, which I would like to clear up, along with explaining some concepts closely related to asexuality. Some increased visibility can’t hurt, either. I guess I’ll start off with the very definition of an asexual:

someone who does not experience sexual attraction

A celibate is someone who chooses to abstain from sexual activities, like say the Pope. They try to ignore their possible sexual attraction in favour of whatever motive they pursue, being asexual is not a choice. Indeed, while most asexuals obviously are celibates, there are a few asexuals who do sex. I’d like to clarify that the Asexual Visibility and Education Network is in no way anti-sexual, though isolated asexuals are.

What’s sexual attraction, then? It’s somewhat vague. Not to say complicated… Hmm. AVEN wiki says:

Sexual attraction is a feeling that sexual people get that causes them to desire sexual contact with a specific other person.

1) You feel sexual urges.
2) You want to relieve them with person X through sexual activity Y.

This is not to be confused with a sex drive:

More commonly referred to as ‘libido’, a sex drive is a desire for sexual contact. In the context of asexuality, sex drive is an important concept because some asexuals have a sex drive but lack sexual attraction, while others have little or no sex drive. This is the main reason some asexuals masturbate and some do not, and can confuse people who either don’t fully understand the definition of asexuality, or don’t see sex drive and sexual attraction as different things.

It is of course important to differentiate between sexual attraction and romantic attraction:

Romantic attraction is a feeling that causes people to desire a romantic relationship with a specific other person. Many asexual people experience romantic attraction even though they do not feel sexual attraction. Sometimes this romantic attraction is directed towards a specific gender, giving asexuals who experience it a “romantic orientation” that is different from their sexual orientation. Other asexual people do not feel romantic attraction, and classify themselves as aromantic as well as asexual. It is speculated that aromantic but sexual people also exist.

It is a strange phenomenon in our world that sex is considered to be a prerequisite for a successful relationship, or even one of the things which define a relationship. There is a view that two people who don’t have sex with each other can never be anything more than friends. Even when asexuals get married and so on. One could turn it around and wonder if people who do have sex with each other can’t be anything more than just friends with benefits. I can add that some asexuals do have sex in their relationships.

Like there are different sexual orientations, there are also different romantic orientations. Here are some of the most common (and isn’t exclusively refered to asexuals):

Panromantic (attracted to all genders)

How many asexuals are there out there? According to this study, a very, very rough percentage would be 1% of humanity. There are factors like how the questions are phrased, the general knowledge of the concept of sexual attraction and so on which could cast doubt on the accuracy of this study, but for the moment one could treat it as a very approximate number.

Seeing as asexuality as a concept is quite new, not an incredibly large amount of research has been conducted surrounding it. There is some, however. Here is a list of current studies related to asexuality.

I think those are the rough basics. To clear up some confusion about what an asexual is and isn’t, this blog has a nice little flowchart:


Pokémon Emerald Update #11

April 18, 2010

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I looked at the top searches for this blog this morning, and noticed the following:

can tentacool use spark?


Anywho, when we last left off Team Magma Hideout had been, er, disbanded due to a combination of Maxie failing to get the right Orb (the ancient Pokémon Groudon then flying away despite the fact that the hideout was under sturdy rock and Groudon is about as aeronautical as a tank), and the whole army of Magma goons being defeated by a single kid, I mean vertically challenged young man. Let’s see if we can’t tango with Team Aqua as well.

That annoying bitch was in my way yet again. If I kill her Pokémon she might step aside.

She uses Screech, which lowers Defense, and then Leaf Blade, a Special Attack? Doesn’t make much sense…

Uh yeah, that was her last battle. She didn’t even fully evolve her starter! The rival in Hoenn is disappointing as hell.

A list of all the items which can be bought in Lilycove Department Store would be too long, distracting and primarily too much work for me, so have a gander at the Bulbapedia page.

What really bothers me is that they call it “loto”. It’s called lotto, FFS.

This guy gives me TM44 Rest as a reward for disturbing his rest. A Mauvillian, me thinks.

I wonder who the hell drops all these things.

My item bag was so overflowing at this point I had to store about 30 items in the PC.

The über secret hideout everyone in town talks about.

1.any of various portable devices for raising or lifting heavy objects short heights, using various mechanical, pneumatic, or hydraulic methods.
2.Also called knave. Cards. a playing card bearing the picture of a soldier or servant.
3.Electricity. a connecting device in an electrical circuit designed for the insertion of a plug.
4.(initial capital letter) Informal. fellow; buddy; man (usually used in addressing a stranger): Hey, Jack, which way to Jersey?
5.Also called jackstone. Games. of a set of small metal objects having six prongs, used in the game of jacks. of any other set of objects, as pebbles, stones, etc., used in the game of jacks.
c.jacks, (used with a singular verb) a children’s game in which small metal objects, stones, pebbles, or the like, are tossed, caught, and moved on the ground in a number of prescribed ways, usually while bouncing a rubber ball.
6.any of several carangid fishes, esp. of the genus Caranx, as C. hippos (crevalle jack or jack crevalle), of the western Atlantic Ocean.
7.Slang. money: He won a lot of jack at the races.
8.Slang: Vulgar.. jack shit.
a.a small flag flown at the jack staff of a ship, bearing a distinctive design usually symbolizing the nationality of the vessel.
b.Also called jack crosstree. either of a pair of crosstrees at the head of a topgallant mast, used to hold royal shrouds away from the mast.
10.(initial capital letter) a sailor.
11.a lumberjack.
13.jack rabbit.
14.a jackass.
16.a device for turning a spit.
17.a small wooden rod in the mechanism of a harpsichord, spinet, or virginal that rises when the key is depressed and causes the attached plectrum to strike the string.
18.Lawn Bowling. a small, usually white bowl or ball used as a mark for the bowlers to aim at.
19.Also called clock jack. Horology. a mechanical figure that strikes a clock bell.
20.a premigratory young male salmon.
21.Theater. brace jack.
22.Falconry. the male of a kestrel, hobby, or esp. of a merlin.
–verb (used with object) lift or move (something) with or as if with a jack (usually fol. by up): to jack a car up to change a flat tire.
24.Informal. to increase, raise, or accelerate (prices, wages, speed, etc.) (usually fol. by up).
25.Informal. to boost the morale of; encourage (usually fol. by up). jacklight.
–verb (used without object) jacklight.
28.Carpentry. having a height or length less than that of most of the others in a structure; cripple: jack rafter; jack truss.
—Verb phrase
29.jack off, Slang: Vulgar. to masturbate.
30.every man jack, everyone without exception: They presented a formidable opposition, every man jack of them.

Fudge, I forgot about that. I better go to Slateport, as that’s the only place except this city which has a harbour.

Capt. Stern is having an interview with what appears to be the only TV crew in Hoenn.

“My secret is Maybelline.”

Archie. I’d recognize that voice anywhere.

They’re very smooth and discrete, these guys.

They jump into a submarine which is under water, which then quickly leaves. Just how the hell does that work? Won’t there come a lot of water into the submarine as they enter it?

This room contains two Electrode, one Nugget and one Master Ball.

“Good to hear you’re not stalling for time. I meet so many unserious challengers these days…

*battles commences*

Sigh, it turns out he was just stalling for time after all.

All right, enough of this plot-related crap. We’re heading for the open sea!

Så länge skutan kan gå,
Så länge hjärtat kan slå,
Så länge solen den glittrar på böljarna blå.
Om blott en dag eller två,
Så håll till godo ändå,
För det finns många som aldrig en djup glimt kan få.

Here you can get evolutionary stones for shards.

Blue Shard – Water Stone
Yellow Shard – Thunder Stone
Red Shard – Fire Stone
Green Shard – Leaf Stone

Shards can be found underwater and on the following wild Pokémon:

Blue Shard – Relicanth
Yellow Shard – Chinchou
Red Shard – Corsola
Green Shard – Relicanth

Finally in Mossdeep City. Needing to propagate for something so basic, one must question their morals.

His whole body is scarred. It is quite obvious he has been harmed by Tentacruel’s Acid. I decided to play it safe and answer “A Secret Base on Route 119? I’ve never heard of such a thing! *nervous giggle*”

“Boy, do I! *squeals*”

“*snf* You’re a big meanie. :(“

Aside from a slightly raised critical hit ratio, King’s Rock makes Slowbro evolve to Slowking and Poliwhirl to Politoed when traded, but we don’t have either of them in this game and we can’t trade, so…


This Scott person was all awesome in general and then promptly left. ❤

Johnny Foreigner might be onto something. Let’s have a look…

*monocle pop*

Staryu/Starmie: 520 average base stats is greater than even our dear Tentacruel. Pretty decent in all stats, it has 100 Special Attack and 115 Speed. It fits quite well into the blitzkrieg doctrine. It also has such an awesome moveset, being able to learn Surf, Ice Beam, Psychic and Thunderbolt. Just point out something you want to kill, and it’ll sweep. Very beloved/hated withing competitive battling. It would be great idea to pick it up, unless your team already has it covered. Natural Cure is far, far better than Illuminate. (Water, Psychic; Natural Cure, Illuminate)
S – Tackle
S – Harden
6 – Water Gun
10 – Rapid Spin
15 – Recover
19 – Camouflage
24 – Swift
28 – Bubblebeam
33 – Minimize
37 – Light Screen
42 – Cosmic Power
46 – Hydro Pump


Psychic-type Pokémon, you say? How fortunate I picked up Cacturne.

I got stuck on this gym a lot when I was younger playing Ruby and Sapphire, and they’ve raised the bar in Emerald. They’re not going to go down easily.

Henny: You are some…
Tentacruel: Tentacruel. (Scary motherf*ckers.)
Henny: But as to the question…
Tentacruel: Cruel, Tenta. (As to whether we can defeat you or not.)
Henny: YES WE…
Tentacruel: CRUEL! (CAN!)

The two twins have a level 41 Xatu, a level 41 Claydol, a level 42 Lunatone and a level 42 Solrock.

This seems like a good setup. 3 out of 4 Pokémon are allergic to Water.

[expletive removed]! Er, pretend that never happened. Dx

This might be a nice trick to use…

*several defeats later*

Ah screw it, I’ll go level them up some and then come back.

Needle Arm, a 60 power Grass move, complements Faint Attack perfectly.

All right, gym leader battle take two!

How’d you like THEM apples?

Tate & Liza uses an absurd amount of Hyper Portions before Claydol finally kicks the bucket. Victory!

Deep sea adventures and more nails in the Team Aqua and Magma coffin in the next update. 🙂

(Only one Pokémon detailed? I’ve started to run out of them…)

Pokémon Emerald Update #10

April 12, 2010

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Checking the Shuppet I caught, it turns out it was holding a Spell Tag, which ups Ghost-type moves. It’s fairly useless to us at the moment since we don’t have any Ghost Pokémon or Ghost moves. Where you can get the type enhancing items:

Black Belt – N/A
Blackglasses – Rusturf Tunnel
Charcoal – The Herb Shop in Lavaridge Town
Dragon Fang – N/A
Hard Stone – Trick House Prize
Magnet – Trick House Prize
Metal Coat – Wild Magnemite and Magneton
Miracle Seed – Petalburg Woods
Mystic Water – Held by the Castform at the Weather Institute
Nevermeltice – Shoal Cave, deepest level
Poison Barb – Wild Cacnea (wild Roselia in RS)
Sharp Beak – Wild Doduo and Dodrio
Silk Scarf – Dewford Town
Silver Powder – N/A
Soft Sand – South of Slateport City
Spell Tag – Wild Shuppet and Duskull
Twistedspoon – Wild Abra

A tip about getting held items from wild Pokémon: If you use the move Thief, and you’re not holding an item yourself, you will get the item the wild Pokémon was holding. This unfortunately doesn’t work in the Safari Zone.

The Hoenn responses to Pokémon Tower… which of course fails because Pokémon Tower is too awesome…

(Expect a few ellipses…)

But first, I shall do a little detour to Route 123…

Route 123 – Berry Master ahoy!
Gloom – Rare
Kecleon – Rare
Mightyena – Common
Oddish – Common
Poochyena – Common
Shuppet – Common
Wingull – Rare
In water:
Magikarp – Very Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Pelipper – Rare
Tentacool – Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Wailmer – Common (Good Rod), Very Common (Super Rod)
Wingull – Very Common

Foiled again…

If you have a Grass-type Pokémon in your party (which I happen to have three of at the moment) she’ll give you TM19 Giga Drain.

Generous and stark raving mad. Perhaps she’s from Mauville…

“I will call you Mary Bester.”

This generous old man gives you two rare berries.

Ah, we have done good to the environment once again…

Mt Pyre – Feel the despair taking hold in you…
In water (Route 122):
Magikarp – Very Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Pelipper – Rare
Sharpedo – Very Common (Super Rod)
Tentacool – Very Common (Old Rod), Common (Good Rod)
Wailmer – Common (Good Rod), Very Common (Super Rod)
Wingull – Very Common
Mt Pyre Floors 1-3:
Shuppet – Very Common
Mt Pyre Floors 4-6:
Shuppet – Very Common
Duskull – Common
Mountain Wall:
Shuppet – Very Common
Vulpix – Common
Wingull – Common
Mountain Summit:
Chimecho – Rare
Duskull – Common
Shuppet – Very Common

Playing as Poland in Hearts of Iron II is for the faint of heart. Can’t really say the same for Mt Pyre.

Duskull/Dusclops: While having very small Speed, it has heinous defenses, with 130 base Defense and Special Defense. It is a tank, basically. Has a quite good moveset as well, though lacking in hard-hitting physical moves besides Shadow Ball. Since I favour offense rather the defense Banette will of course be closer to my heart, but you have a quite reliable Pokémon in Dusclops. (Ghost; Levitate)
S – Night Shade
S – Leer
5 – Disable
12 – Foresight
16 – Astonish
23 – Confuse Ray
27 – Pursuit
34 – Curse
37 – Shadow Ball
41 – Will-o-Wisp
51 – Mean Look
58 – Future Sight

Chimecho: This is one of those Pokémon which the Pokémon franchise would be absolutely good without, and probably not even notice its absence. (Psychic; Levitate)
S – Wrap
6 – Growl
9 – Astonish
14 – Confusion
17 – Take Down
22 – Uproar
25 – Yawn
30 – Psywave
33 – Double-Edge
38 – Heal Bell
41 – Safeguard
46 – Psychic

Vulpix/Ninetales: We finally meet the last of the four Fire-type families in Hoenn. Ninetales is a quite strong Pokémon. Unfortunately, the need for Fire Pokémon in Hoenn isn’t overly great. The only leader in Hoenn which focus type is weak to Fire is Glacia, and four of her five Pokémon are Water types. Emerald disses the Fire type a bit too much, me thinks. (Fire; Flash Fire)
S – Ember
5 – Tail Whip
9 – Roar
13 – Quick Attack
17 – Will-o-Wisp
21 – Confuse Ray
25 – Imprison
29 – Flamethrower
33 – Safeguard
37 – Grudge
41 – Fire Spin

A geriatric old lady gives me a Cleanse Tag.

Holding a Cleanse Tag helps keeping wild Pokémon away, but it only works if the holder is at the front.

“Dude… this place is full of people.”

See, this is why I hate battling Wobbuffet.

Shadow Ball is the Ghost move with highest power, and a quite devastating move when used right.

Lax Incense, when held by a Wobbuffet, enables a Wynaut to be born. Sea Incense enables Azurill. Those Pokémon have some darn strange breeding patterns. Imagine if people would need Douche Incense or something like that to avoid birthing a twelve year old.

This area has one of the coolest music themes in the game.

It’s really odd how small and different things look from the outside.

“Because I totally look like a Team Magma member, half-scorched teddy bear suit and all.”

There are a few deranged sailors you have to deal with, but it shouldn’t be a problem.

I am able to engage in a bit of grave robbery. I need those items more than dead Pokémon/people.

After a bit of searching, I find one of those Chimecho. How do you pronounce Chimecho anyway? Shi-me-sho, Ki-me-sho, Ki-me-ko? Eh, whatever. That Chimecho has Take Down, meaning the potential to down itself, so I decide to play it safe. Wasting four Poké balls and four Great Balls before the bastard decides to be caught.

Maxie has apparently decided to leave the Red Orb behind for no adequately explained reason.

Apparently he also left this behind. I’m starting to suspect Maxie is massively incompetent.

“*grabs popcorn* Story time!”

“It happened long, long ago… The world was wracked by a ferocious clash between the Pokémon of the land and the Pokémon of the sea… The Pokémon of the land raised mountains and created continents… The Pokémon of the sea raised waves and carved out oceans… Their fierce duel raged without end. The world was engulfed in massive infernos and vicious storms. The BLUE ORB and the RED ORB brought an end to the calamity. Light pured from the two orbs and becalmed the enraged adversaries. The pair, made docile, dove deep into the sea where eventually they disappeared…”

That was a darn lame story…

See, I’m not the only one overusing ellipses…

My intuition tells me we should head for Lavaridge Town. And we should have Acro Bike.

My intuition is uncannily accurate.

Magma Hideout – These guys are crafty, but not very intelligent.
Geodude – Very Common
Graveler – Common
Torkoal – Common

“I’m playing Pokémon Emerald. I have no sense of normality.”

I must admit, they have some fairly cool machinery.

Why do I always interrupt at the worst possible moment?

I still don’t understand why he took the Blue Orb instead of the Red Orb, or why he simply didn’t take both.

The Blue Orb shines a quite stark light. I feel like I was in a really funky night club. And then the griseous monkey statue is starting to come too close for my comfort. Panic settles in. But the statue turns all red, and promptly vanishes, leaving Maxie all sulky and crying. I wonder if I have ingested any mushrooms today.

“Yes, ancient Pokémon and I are united in our hatred against you.”

I shall never tire of this.

Nosepass, Breloom and Cacturne were stupid enough to succumb, but Tentacruel came out victorious.

Tentacruel learns Barrier, which sharply raises our team’s Defense a couple of turns. Considering Defense is Tentacruel’s lowest stat, it might come in handy.

Don’t forget the PP Max on your way out.

This seems like a logical point to stop. ‘Til next time! 🙂


April 11, 2010

There was an earthquake in Haiti a while ago. The relative wellbeing Haiti had gained dissipated in the violent tremors, and a nation found itself on the brink of anarchy, with rampant casualties and homelessness. Back home, people went “Haiti? I don’t think I can point that out on a map”. They saw footage of what the earthquake brought to the victims, and listened to interviews of aid workers and so on. They of course sympathized with the plight of the Haitians, and were fairly open towards donations helping them.

A while ago, I was invited to a Facebook group. Apparently the founders had set up a bank account of some sort, and for every member they would donate 2 SEK. For Americans, that’s like a quarter. Of money I didn’t even have. I thought “Feh, why the hell not” and joined the group. Shortly thereafter, my aunt commented on that activity with a “like”. That “like” sort of bothered me. What had I actually done? Couldn’t they simply have given the money without bothering with ridiculous Facebook groups? Another group I’ve joined at some point, I notice as I plow through my Facebook group list, is a group supporting cancer research, where every new member means… 0.5 SEK. Seriously. And I was also invited to a Facebook group for people who had given some sort of donation per cell phone, but which I obviously declined since I had done nothing of that sort.

Another fairly good example is Hoongle. Operating from Fall 2008 to Spring 2009 until they were shut down, they were a custom Google site, in which 20 grains of rice were donated for every click. A grain of rice weighs about 0.65 milligrams of rice, which means 1.3 grams of rice are donated every time you search. It’s about 175 dollars per ton of rice on the world market. A quick calculation brings that to one Hoongle search yielding about 0.0002275 dollars. Which means you would have to search about 1100 times on Hoongle to donate the equivalent of the nonexistant 2 SEK I donated through the Facebook group. Way to go, everybody who used Hoongle.

What we witness here is Slacktivism. These are efforts which have almost no practical effect on things, but which makes the one who does it feel better about themselves. They wear the ribbons, they join the Facebook causes and they play word games on When they see the destruction taking place on the TV screens, they feel great sympathy. But they can’t actually do anything directly, since it is taking place on the other side of the globe. Imagine encountering a way to actually do something while sitting in front of the computer/TV screen. “Oh hey, I did at least something, now I can feel more comfortable about myself.” Yes, I am not doing much of an effort myself either, but at least I have no illusions about it.

You might have heard of the saying “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you’ll feed him for a life time”. I sense that’s what many charities perpetuate today, giving the man a fish without teaching him how to fish. I am not denying that they are making a great effort in the world. Sometimes, giving the man a damn fish is better than giving him nothing at all. But what is imperative is to make an effort towards sustainability. Not just the weekly UN package, but a concentrated effort towards stability and a better economical base in the places around the world which lack it. A hope for the future. Sadly, I’m not sure if that’s going to come easily. Many people have after all built their careers on relief work, and are probably none too keen on making it stop. And, to continue on the fish metaphor, the fish you give many times pass through the hands of corrupted relief workers and dictators, leaving only the fish skeleton to the man. Not to mention the many charity schemes.

I recall being in an online conversation once. The topic was carrying money while walking downtown. I said that I tried to keep as little money as possible to help steer away from consumerism. Somebody else argued that they did always did keep money on them, in case they saw an opportunity to give it to charities. I somewhat cynically replied that it would end up in the pockets of a corrupt third world dictator or something like that. The person when mentioned directly giving money to poor chums. It startled me a bit. While Eskilstuna isn’t the best of cities in Sweden (I win “Understatement of the Month”!), it’s a city of 100 000 or so peeps where everybody somehow knows everybody. Maybe I am just very unobservant, but I have never encountered anyone actually asking me for money. There is the occasional street musician yes, but that is another thing alltogether. Perhaps it is the somewhat egalitarian values Sweden has had. I don’t doubt the charitability of the Eskilstunians, either. I once tried to buy some books, and found that I didn’t have enough money to buy them while at the counter, and left the store. Somebody in the store who had witnessed this a short while later offered me some money to pay for it (though which I respectfully declined). The bottom line is that I don’t have anyone to actually directly do goodwill towards.

As a final note, I came to think of Buddhism. In many countries in South-East Asia, Buddhism and society are intertwined. There are the Buddhist monks. They wear orange clothes, and have very few possessions. Every day, the townspeople would give stuff to the monks. To which one might suspect they are basically glorified beggars. But here is the twist: The monks claim that they actually give something to the commoners. They enable the non-initiated person to do something good, gain better karma basically. What does that remind you of? Slacktivism, that’s what. Imagine if they’d tell these Buddhist monks to get a job and a haircut.

Pokémon Emerald Update #9

April 7, 2010

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“This Scott person? I could recognize your charming baryton voice anywhere. What do you want?”

“Hold on, I’m climbing this ladder here… I’m the trainer you’re searching for, you say?”

I think I might be in love with this Scott person. :3

I buy some decorations for the Secret Base. I will make this base the best one in the entire world. That Heavy Desk is going to be used for something, but I haven’t figured out a sinister enough use for it yet. I will keep my guns on it? Maybe I’ll run my underground mushroom market from here. Also, the balloon is filled with Acid generously donated by Tentacruel, and will defeat anyone entering unauthorized.

Route 120 – There is something distinctly awesome about this Route.
Absol – Rare
Keclon – Rare
Marill – Common
Mightyena – Common
Oddish – Common
Poochyena – Common
Seedot – Rare
In water:
Barboach – Common (Good Rod), Very Common (Super Rod)
Goldeen – Rare (Old Rod), Common (Good Rod)
Magikarp – Very Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Marill – Very Common

Absol: I know it looks all awesome an all, and it does have a hideously supreme base Attack of 130, but it is a Dark Pokémon (What IS it with the developers giving Dark Pokémon massively powerful Attack, anyway? It makes no damn sense) who’s most powerful Dark move, unless it learns Faint Attack by breeding, is Bite. That ain’t no strategically sound Pokémon. Also, it learns Razor Wind, who’s mere presence in my not so humble opinion automatically lowers the Pokémon’s awesomeness. On the plus side it has Pressure, which drains the opponent’s PP at twice the rate. (Dark; Pressure)
S – Scratch
5 – Leer
9 – Taunt
13 – Quick Attack
17 – Razor Wind (BOOOOH!)
21 – Bite
26 – Swords Dance
31 – Double Team
36 – Slash
41 – Future Sight
46 – Perish Song

The Scorched Slab as my mental voice calls it might not have the most flattering of names, and indeed it does its name honour, but it does have TM11 Sunny Day.

Cacnea evolves during the battle with the interviewers into one helluva badass evil scarecrow. And its cry sounds like a mock imitation of a gun, PEW PEW! I love it already.

“This is simply fabulous!”

Cacturne learns Sandstorm as a gift… or a bribe for not killing me.

The first victim is this Kecleon which I actually found in the tall grass. I capture it just so it won’t feel its appearance was to waste.

Right after Cacturne’s Sandstorm neutralized Castform’s cheap tricks, Castform used Water Pulse on Nosepass. The STAB and the effect rain has on Water moves would perhaps have killed Nosepass, but now it didn’t even take half of its HP. Right after that, Manectric managed to hit Thunderpass with Thunder and I sent Tentacruel out. Castform used Rain Dance, and Tentacruel used Surf which was now powered up and managed to kill Castform. Manectric used Thunder on Cacturne but which didn’t hurt him very much. Cacturne finished Manectric off with a Faint Attack. That’s Pokémon tactics for you.

This doesn’t look like it’s been naturally formed. But I guess if I investigate it closer I’ll be sued for disturbing ancient native population burial grounds or something like that, so I’ll leave it alone.

Route 121 – Safari Zone!
Gloom – Rare
Kecleon – Rare
Mightyena – Common
Oddish – Common
Poochyena – Common
Shuppet – Common
Wingull – Rare

Shuppet/Banette: Of all Ghost Pokémon, Banette has to be the one which appeals to me the most. Ghost is (counter-intuitively) a physical type, and of the few Ghost Pokémon which exist they have on average higher Special Attack than Attack. Banette turns this around with its heinous Attack. If you decided to take under your wings, Psychic and other Ghost Pokémon better watch the hell out. It also has Will-o-Wisp, that elusive move which inflicts Burn, negating your opponent Attack power. The Special Attack is also fairly decent. (Ghost; Insomnia)
S – Knock Off
8 – Screech
13 – Night Shade
20 – Curse
25 – Spite
32 – Will-o-Wisp
37 – Faint Attack
48 – Shadow Ball (:3)
55 – Snatch
64 – Grudge

Several of those deranged sailors. I shall stalk them… later.

“Boy, would I! :)”

“I am perfectly capable without those newfangled death traps, my good sire.”

…[expletive removed].

Lilycove City – The city of lilies… and coves. Argh.

Or vice versa.

Now I might actually be able to please that damn entrance guy…

“Wait what why how? O.o”

Hey, I don’t see any love bubbles! Those morons wouldn’t be able to appreciate coolness even if it nipped them in the back.

Cacturne has three Smart moves and one Tough move. Entering a Smartness contest might’ve been wiser.

Though Cacturne never struck me as particularly smart. 😛

“…and that’s how George III got wounded by a bazooka shell during the battle of Little Bighorn. Or was it Okinawa? All I can remember is that they were Indians”, Cacturne declared.

Cacturne was a crybaby throughout the contest. Not cool.

As if Cacturne would be less cool than that rabies-infested bastard of a coyote.

All right, I’m going to punch his teeth out if he doesn’t let me in.

Safari Zone – Let the enslavement begin.
South East:
Oddish – Very Common
Girafarig – Common
Doduo – Common
Natu – Common
Wobbuffet – Common
Pikachu – Rare
Gloom – Rare
South West:
Oddish – Very Common
Girafarig – Common
Doduo – Common
Natu – Common
Wobbuffet – Common
Pikachu – Rare
Gloom – Rare
North East (accessible by Acro Bike):
Oddish – Common
Gloom – Common
Doduo – Common
Dodrio – Rare
Rhyhorn – Common
Pinsir – Rare
North West (accessible by Mach Bike):
Oddish – Common
Gloom – Rare
Natu – Common
Xatu – Rare
Heracross – Rare
Phanpy – Rare
In water:
Magikarp – Very Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Goldeen – Common (Old Rod), Very Common (Good Rod, Super Rod)
Seaking – Common (Super Rod)
Psyduck – Very Common

I’ll go through the Safari Zone with both bikes, of course. :3

Pichu/Pikachu/Raichu: The oh so recurring Pokémon. Of course this game wouldn’t be complete without it. One in twenty wild Pikachu hold a Light Ball. What this thingy does is that it doubles Special Attack when held by Pikachu (not Raichu). This makes it essentially a Glass Cannon. Raichu isn’t anything to sneeze at either, and much easier to get. Not my first-hand choice of Electric Pokémon, though. (Electric; Static)
Happiness – EVOLUTION
S – Thundershock
S – Growl
6 – Tail Whip
8 – Thunder Wave
11 – Quick Attack
15 – Double Team
20 – Slam
26 – Thunderbolt
33 – Agility
41 – Thunder
50 – Light Screen
Thunder Stone – EVOLUTION

Psyduck/Golduck: I’m a bit surprised by how many Egg Moves it can learn. Hypnosis, Psybeam, Foresight, Light Screen, Future Sight, Psychic, Refresh and Cross Chop (Cross Chop?!). It has decent stats in everything, and its highest stat is Special Attack, which I like. Damp prevents Selfdestruct and Explosion and Cloud Nine makes weather effect disappear. (Water; Damp, Cloud Nine)
S – Water Sport
S – Scratch
5 – Tail Whip
10 – Disable
16 – Confusion
23 – Screech
31 – Psych Up
44 – Fury Swipes
58 – Hydro Pump

Wynaut/Wobbuffet: Take a look at Smogon University’s list of “Über” Pokémon. Wobbuffet, and even baby Wynaut is on that list. Will kill pretty much anything. Shadow Tag makes the opponent unable to flee. Encore enables Wobbuffet to know what the next move is, and Wobbuffet can then can act accordingly. It’s so gamey you better not use it. (Psychic; Shadow Tag)
S – Splash
S – Charm
S – Encore
15 – Counter
15 – Mirror Coat
15 – Safeguard
15 – Destiny Bond

Natu/Xatu: It’s decent, I guess. A straight forward Psychic/Flying Pokémon with high Special Attack and Speed. It can learn Drill Peck through breeding, which is awesome. I would perhaps like it better if it came available earlier in the game, but this is fairly late and there are several contenders to a position in your party. (Psychic, Flying; Synchronise, Early Bird)
S – Peck
S – Leer
10 – Night Shade
20 – Teleport
35 – Wish
35 – Future Sight
50 – Confuse Ray
65 – Psychic (Which is late as hell)

Girafarig: Having a Psychic Pokémon immune to Ghost moves is awesome, that’s true. And it does learn Crunch, and has fairly decent Special Attack. But I still don’t like it. It doesn’t have any soul. And there are so many Psychic Pokémon to use out there. Xatu, for one. (Normal, Psychic; Inner Focus, Early Bird)
S – Tackle
S – Growl
7 – Astonish
13 – Confusion
19 – Stomp
25 – Odor Sleuth
31 – Agility
37 – Baton Pass
43 – Psybeam
49 – Crunch

Phanpy/Donphan: It has heinous Attack and Defense. Unfortunately it doesn’t learn any really powerful moves besides Earthquake. Ground as a type isn’t that a critical type in Pokémon Emerald either, though it’s one of the few Physical types which are strategically sound. Think twice before using it. (Ground; Sturdy)
S – Odor Sleuth
S – Tackle
S – Growl
9 – Defense Curl
17 – Flail
25 – Take Down
25 – Fury Attack
33 – Rollout
41 – Rapid Spin
49 – Earthquake
Alternatively, if Phanpy doesn’t evolve:
33 – Rollout
41 – Endure
49 – Double-Edge

Heracross: Along with Butterfree, Heracross is my favourite Bug Pokémon. One of the few to actually have the greatest bug move Megahorn as well as STAB on it, as well as STAB on Brick Break. Add to that a heinous Attack, and you’ve got yourself a Pokémon which kicks arse and asks questions later. Just watch out for the 4x weakness to Flying. It would be an excellent Pokémon to add to your party. (Bug, Fighting; Swarm, Guts)
S – Tackle
S – Leer
6 – Horn Attack
11 – Endure
17 – Fury Attack
23 – Brick Break
30 – Counter
37 – Take Down
45 – Reversal
53 – Megahorn

Pinsir: Has an Attack slightly lower than Absol. But it doesn’t, as opposed to Heracross, learn Megahorn. It does learn Brick Break, but unlike Heracross doesn’t get STAB on it. The weaker of the two, no doubt, but you can’t say Pinsir is weak either. (Bug; Hyper Cutter)
S – Vicegrip
S – Focus Energy
7 – Bind
13 – Seismic Toss
19 – Harden
25 – Revenge
31 – Brick Break
37 – Guillotine
43 – Submission
49 – Swords Dance

Rhyhorn/Rhydon: I figure Rhydon is way better Pokémon than Donphan. Learns a crapton of Egg Moves and TMs, and can learn Megahorn. Has 130 Attack and 120 base Defense. It’s hard not to see how massively powerful it is. Certainly better than the Geodude family. (Rock, Ground; Rock Head, Lightningrod)
S – Horn Attack
S – Tail Whip
10 – Stomp
15 – Fury Attack
24 – Scary Face
29 – Rock Blast
38 – Horn Drill
46 – Take Down
58 – Earthquake
66 – Megahorn

Doduo/Dodrio: A Normal/Flying Pokémon available late in the game? Hmm, not a recipe for success. It does learn the oh so cool Drill Peck, and has stats which suit well to the blitzkrieg doctrine. Has a sort of lame moveset, though. Not the smartest choice this late in the game. (Normal, Flying; Run Away, Early Bird)
S – Peck
S – Growl
9 – Pursuit
13 – Fury Attack
21 – Tri Attack
25 – Rage
33 – Uproar
37 – Drill Peck
45 – Agility

All the evolutionary families in the zone for only £1000. Not a bad deal. Though I never want to see an Oddish again in my entire life.

Well, that wasn’t a very eventful update. Gotta get more action next time. 🙂

Pokémon Emerald Update #8

April 5, 2010

Click here to go back to the index.

Lately, I’ve had an irrational preference for male Pokémon. The reasoning is simple: The light blue icon representing their male gender is sure as hell more awesome than the red-pinkish crap icon the female gender has. Darn gender biased game developers Therefore, I’m not really keen on having too many female Pokémon in the team. Of course, Tentacruel is female, and she kicks serious ass. If Tentacruel had been there in the 70’s, she would have easily been the most effective champion of women’s rights ever. “Don’t want to give women equal rights? Then I think I’ll raze your [expletive removed] city. How’s that sound?”

Not only can I now travel across water, I have also upped Tentacruel’s power from 65 to 95. Bubblebeam may be awesome, but Surf is even more so.

Route 115 – We can now access more of Route 115, which is north of Rustboro.
Jigglypuff – Common
Swablu – Common
Swellow – Common
Taillow – Very Common
Wingull – Common
In water:
Magikarp – Very Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Pelipper – Rare
Tentacool – Very Common (Old Rod), Common (Good Rod)
Wailmer – Common (Good Rod), Very Common (Super Rod)

Igglybuff/Jigglypuff/Wigglytuff: This Pokémon is more for Pokédex purposes and a cuddle piece for children than any sort of strategic battle machine. Best used to annoy opponent Pokémon (and people). (Normal; Cute Charm)
Happiness – EVOLUTION
S – Sing
4 – Defense Curl
9 – Pound
14 – Disable
19 – Rollout
24 – Doubleslap
29 – Rest
34 – Body Slam
39 – Mimic
44 – Hyper Voice
49 – Double-Edge
Moon Stone – EVOLUTION

Wailmer/Wailord: You’re going to need Wailord to solve a puzzle later on. It’s a no-nonsense sweeper Pokémon which, despite its appearance, sacrifices Defense and Special Defense for Attack and Special Attack. Its special move, Water Spout, has a base power of 150 and 100% Accuracy (!) but which power dwindles as the Pokémon loses HP. (Water; Oblivious, Water Veil)
S – Splash
5 – Growl
10 – Water Gun
14 – Rollout
19 – Whirlpool
23 – Astonish
28 – Water Pulse
32 – Mist
37 – Rest
44 – Water Spout
52 – Amnesia
59 – Hydro Pump

1/16th of the Pokémon’s Max HP is restored every turn, but the user can’t switch out.

“The guy with the Magnemite fetisch? State your business.”

“Also, what do you mean by “Magnemite fetisch”?” he answers.
“Sorry,” I reply. “I mistook you for another Dalton.”

I don’t have much use for these berries at the moment, but they’re pretty and rare and that’s all that matters.

“Come to papa!”

“Yeah, I came to apologize for punching your Manetric’s teeth out.”

“Ooh, a side quest. *squeals*”

I paint over the sign too, and write “Team Henny [insert awesome macho saying here]”.

New Mauville – Not all item balls are friendly.
Electrode – Rare
Magnemite – Very Common
Magneton – Rare
Voltorb – Very Common

Magnemite/Magneton: It has 120 base Special Attack. That alone makes me a fan of it. It has also thirteen (13) resistances. That makes me even more of a fan. Watch for its 4x weakness to Ground. Electric Pokémon are a premium type, and this one is one of the best in both Emerald and FRLG. Teach it Thunderbolt ASAP. (Electric/Steel; Magnet Pull, Sturdy)
S – Metal Sound
S – Tackle
6 – Thundershock
11 – Supersonic
16 – Sonicboom
21 – Thunder Wave
26 – Spark
35 – Lock-On
44 – Tri Attack
53 – Screech
62 – Zap Cannon

Voltorb/Electrode: It has better abilities than Magnemite, and has better overall stats, but 140 Speed is quite overkill. In FRLG you can get Voltorb before Magnemite, but Emerald doesn’t have the same saving grace. I would pick Magnemite over Voltorb any time of the day, any day of the week. (Electric; Soundproof, Static)
S – Charge
S – Tackle
8 – Screech
15 – Sonicboom
21 – Spark
27 – Selfdestruct
32 – Rollout
37 – Light Screen
42 – Swift
46 – Explosion
49 – Mirror Coat

Henny found a VOLTORB!

Hold on, why is the light in here still working-

And then I had to stumble out of the pitch black power plant.

I’d like to see Graveller do that.

Tentacruel has become a legitimate dragon slayer, but my modest amount of money has plummeted.

Route 118 – West of Mauville, we can finally move on…
Electrike – Common
Kecleon – Rare
Linoone – Common
Manectric – Common
Wingull – Common
Zigzagoon – Common
In water:
Carvanha – Common (Good Rod), Very Common (Super Rod)
Magikarp – Very Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Pelipper – Rare
Sharpedo – Very Common (Super Rod)
Tentacool – Very Common (Old Rod), Common (Good Rod)
Wingull – Very Common

Carvanha/Sharpedo: Second only to Cacturne, Sharpedo’s my favourite Dark Pokémon in Emerald. While Attack is its best stat (Tootin’ developers giving Dark Pokémon overly great Attack…) Special Attack is what you should focus on. Using Crunch, you’ll be able to dominate Psychic and Ghost demons out there. Rough Skin is a surprisingly good ability which hurts the opponent every time they use a physical attack on you. (Water, Dark; Rough Skin)
S – Bite
S – Leer
7 – Rage
13 – Focus Energy
16 – Scary Face
22 – Crunch
28 – Screech
33 – Slash
38 – Taunt
43 – Swagger
48 – Skull Bash
53 – Agility

“Obvious Fisherman is really obvious.”

Now we can finally pull up some quite good fishies.

Having experienced their amateur antics once before, I decline their offer.

Steven, who unexpectedly appeared out on nowhere and pounced upon me, gave me a very garbled conversation and then disappeared just as swiftly. I suspect mushrooms might’ve been involved.

Route 119 – Super tall grass. And rain. Ooh. Have anything like that, Kanto and West Kanto?
Kecleon – Rare
Linoone – Common
Oddish – Common
Tropius – Rare
Zigzagoon – Common
In water:
Carvanha – (Good Rod), Very Common (Super Rod)
Feebas – See Below
Magikarp – Very Common (Old Rod, Good Rod)
Pelipper – Rare
Tentacool – Very Common (Old Rod), Common (Good Rod)
Wingull – Very Common

Kecleon: It can learn a crapton of TMs. It’s a pretty hard Pokémon to use. Given its relatively decent Attack, it might be able to do pretty good with a moveset like Aerial Ace/Rock Tomb/Shadow Ball/Brick Break. It doesn’t have STAB, but it might get that with Colour Change. (Normal; Colour Change)
S – Thief
S – Tail Whip
S – Astonish
S – Lick
S – Scratch
4 – Bind
7 – Faint Attack
12 – Fury Swipes
17 – Psybeam
24 – Screech
31 – Slash
40 – Substitute
49 – Ancientpower

Tropius: Even though it does look badass, it isn’t really that powerful. Its greatest stat is Special Defense… at a base 87. It’s a great HM slave, though. Teach a Tropius Cut, Fly, Flash and Rock Smash, and together with a Gyarados with Surf, Strength, Waterfall and Dive, you have two Pokémon with all the HMs. (Grass, Flying; Chlorophyll)
S – Gust
S – Leer
7 – Growth
11 – Razor Leaf
17 – Stomp
21 – Sweet Scent
27 – Whirlwind
31 – Magical Leaf
37 – Body Slam
41 – Solar Beam
47 – Synthesis

And so I got my future HM slave.

Hmm… really large building and Team Aqua members blocking my path. It seems, and I’m just guessing wildly here, that it might be a good idea to investigate the Weather Institute.

Tentacruel will instantly own anyone trying to assault me while I’m sleeping.


One Castform to the absolutely fearless and simply ignorant person. 🙂

Castform: It changes to Fire when it’s sunny, Water when it’s raining and Ice when it’s hailing. Rain Dance, Thunder, Weather Ball and Hail. With Rain Dance, Thunder has 100% accuracy, and Weather Ball turns into a Water move with 100 power as well as STAB. Use Hail and when the Ice Weather Ball depending on your need. Either that, or exchange Rain Dance and Thunder for Sunny Day and Solar Beam. Castform is a Pokémon able to counter many types. The stats aren’t that good, with 70 in anything. Try to prioritize Special Attack. (Normal; Forecast)
S – Tackle
10 – Water Gun
10 – Ember
10 – Powder Snow
20 – Rain Dance
20 – Sunny Day
20 – Hail
30 – Weather Ball

A note about Feebas. Quoting Bulbapedia:

Feebas is known for its extreme rarity and it generally takes a long time to find one in the main series games where they are only found in a set number of randomly chosen fishing “tiles” on large bodies of water. For example, Route 119 in Hoenn has hundreds of squares that the fishing rod can be used on in the river that runs down it but Feebas is only found in six of them. In Sinnoh, Feebas is only found in four of the hundreds of squares which comprise the lake in Mt. Coronet’s basement which change daily. However, Feebas are actually very common where they are found making it easy to catch multiple members of the species once one has been located.

Feebas/Milotic: While its supremely hard to get it, it is also supremely badass. Having very high Special Attack and Special Defense, it is frustratingly strong. To evolve Feebas to Milotic, you need to max out its Beauty condition and then level it up one level. (Water; Marvel Scale)
Max Beauty – EVOLUTION
S – Water Gun
5 – Wrap
10 – Water Sport
15 – Refresh
20 – Water Pulse
25 – Twister
30 – Recover
35 – Rain Dance
40 – Safeguard
45 – Attract
50 – Safeguard

I have to battle with the girl again…

Yup. That Ice Beam seems to be working fine.

This Scott Person also drops by and states the obvious.

This is, in my not so humble opinion, the best Secret Base location in the game, simply because it’s so close to Fortree city.

Fortree City – Because living on the ground is so boring and efficient.

“Not really. We met on Route 118.”

“You’re asking me to kick your arse? I’m in!”

“Oh, that kind of battle.”

Let’s beat Winona.

My Kirlia has evolved into Gardevoir. Now it may finally be able to pull its weight.

“*giggle* Your helmet looks ridiculous.”

She has a level 29 Swablu, a level 29 Tropius, a level 33 Altaria, a level 31 Skarmory and a level 30 Pelipper.

4x weakness to Ice has never felt so good. Banana-flavoured ice cream, anyone?

Really smart to send out Altaria, a Pokémon which also has 4x weakness to Ice.

“Bet you didn’t see that comin’. :)”

“Oi! No fair.”

4x weaknesses to stuff hurts.

And that’s how I beat Winona.


April 2, 2010

Here’s a piece I wrote out of boredom today. I’ll see where it’ll take me.

It was raining. There was always rain, as far as the boy could remember. And he had been here, always, from the beginning of his consciousness. He had often wondered what the world without rain would be like. A world without rain? How absurd, a part of him thought. Considering there had always been rain, and for all he could see there would still be rain, isn’t it logical to conclude that rain is the natural order of things, of which the world couldn’t be without? Indeed, he mused, how could he even talk about “rain” as a concept? There is nothing else but rain. If words are meant to differentiate some things from other things in his head, then there would be no use for the word “rain” since the “rain” he referred to was an intrinsical part of everything.
Another part of him rose to the surface of his mind, eager to resist the the other part, a contender for the reign residing in his skull. How could he say that there couldn’t be no rain? In the house, for example, there is no rain. The droplets of rain hammer rhythmically on the roof. He could hear it, lying on his bed. But none of the drops of water could touch him. He was dry. And if he makes a shelter in the forest, a contruction of twigs and leaves, the water cannot touch the ground below. But then again, there is still rain. If one consider the world as a whole, at least the world as far as he had seen that world, then there is always and probably always will be rain.
But why, if there now was no reason for the concept of “rain” as it would be redundant, did he still invent the concept of rain? He was unsure. Truth to tell, he wondered if he had ever invented it, consciously or otherwise. “Rain” had sort of been ever-present. He could not explain it. “Rain”, like a myriad of other things, had always been there, untangible. But why? Why did he need to use words to express his thoughts? Couldn’t his mind simply just process information and reflections without the aid of words? If anything, being chained by words seemed like it was handicapping the flow that was his mind. If only it could break loose and spiral freely, unhindered by these blurbs of verbal obstruction.
“If only.”
He was startled. The use of speech had always had an air of creepiness about it. He could not figure out the use for it. Communicating with himself went easy enough without the aid of verbal language. Surely, there must be some as of yet unknown use for it? Then again, perhaps some things didn’t have a purpose, perhaps they just… were. Lots of thoughts were queing in his mind, eager to make an appearance, to have a word. He tried to organize them, bring order into the cacaphony. One thing at a time.
He tried to imagine what use he could possibly have for speech. Would it aid him in reflecting upon things, to let out whatever thought he had inside him? Doubtful. If anything, it only further pressed down his mind, since he had to try to figure out what to say, and that restrained him. Anyway, writing did a far better job. He could write down whatever was on his mind at that particular moment in time. If his mind and feelings were different by the time he had read it again, he would gain a better understanding of things. He also recognized that he seemed to forget things now and again, and writing acted as a sort of primitive method of memory storage.
Writing could be a hint in understanding the use of speech. When he wrote down things, he used different symbols representing different sounds which could be used in speech. When certain symbols, or letters as he seemed to prefer to call them, were arranged in certain ways they became words. But that didn’t explain speech, part of him thought. Thought was what writing was built on, and it was either thought or writing which speech was based on. But there seemed to be an instinctive reaction in him which questioned that writing would be above, or prior to speech. The reaction didn’t make much sense, but it nevertheless lurked in the back of his head. He tried to shake it off, and assured himself that it was an irrational reaction.
A thought which had tugged on the sleeve of his mind suddenly managed to make its presence known. It felt stark in content, as if it was forbidden to even think it. Still, it was there. He thought, what if there was another one of him. He needed only to look down to see the physical presence which was himself. Torso, legs and all. And if he looked at the mirror, he could see his own reflection staring back at him. He could concieve of there being another physical presence, perhaps another mind. Would they be able to communicate with each other by mind, or would they need to use speech or writing to communicate? Again, the thought of somebody else but him struck him as absurd. But still, there was something in him which thought it made perfect sense. The sharp contrast confused him a bit. The whole affair struck him as a bit odd. He wondered if perhaps the whole argument going on in his brain was a way for him to shake off the whole cognitive dissonance. Maybe if the combatants weared themselves out and one pure victor emerged his mind would finally be at rest and he would achieve clarity and calmness.

Pokémon Emerald Update #7

April 2, 2010

Click here to go back to the index.

Compared to the $500 for a Full Heal, $200 for a Lava Cookie which does the exact same thing seems like a damn sweet deal. At the taste of a chunk of molten lava, Pokémon will simply forget about any other status conditions they might have. And there are no happiness penalties either, since they simply cannot believe you would be so irresponsible as to feed them molten lava.

Judging from the looks of those ledges, it seems like I might actually have some use for an Acro Bike, for once. The Mach Bike has been stealing all the spotlight with those damn sand slopes all over the place.

Machop – Common
Numel – Very Common
Spoink – Common

Spoink/Grumpig: The Psychic type has some extremely awesome Pokémon, like Alakazam, Gardevoir, Metagross, Slowking, Starmie and Wobbuffet. But it’s also slightly tainted by a black sheep, or black pig as it happens. It’s not bad per se, it’s just that its Psychic, and I have ridiculously high standards then it comes to Psychic Pokémon. Because if you want a Psychic Pokémon, Hoenn offers such awesomese critters as Kadabra, Gardevoir, Starmie, Xatu, Wobbuffet (never underestimate this Pokémon), Medicham, Claydol and Metagross. (Lunatone, Solrock and Girafarig are a bit weaker in my opinion). My point being, you can certainly get better than this. (Psychic, Own Tempo)
S – Splash (Magikarp wannabe?)
7 – Psywave
10 – Odor Sleuth
16 – Psywave
19 – Psych Up
25 – Confuse Ray
28 – Magic Coat
37 – Psychic
43 – Rest
43 – Snore
55 – Bounce (A physical attack to a Pokémon with non-STAB and weak Attack. With 85% Accuracy.)

Lavender Town – Has a gym and a “herb” shop (hurr hurr)

Relaxation? I have no time for such trivialities. I need action, whether it be blood and gore or overly wet camel thingies.

And that’s how I stole the man’s kidneys.

This will intensify Fire-type moves.

“*cough* Sorry my ladies, it’s not what it looks like”, I assure the shocked senior dames, and frantically try to make the damn thing stop shaking so wildly, cursing under my breath.

“Are you going to eat it? Because I’m hungry.”

“To hatch? But I was going hungry… Feh, all right then. I’ll hatch the egg for you. I still have that Nosepass egg, though I imagine it doesn’t taste as good.”

Imagine that everything said in Lavaridge Town gym is a sexual innuendo.

Yes. I’m very immature. Flannery has a level 24 Slugma, a level 24 Numel, a level 26 Camerupt, and a level 29 Torkoal.

Also, consider the Water Pokémon you can get before you beat Norman and get Surf, and their best Water moves below level 30:

Marshtomp – Water Gun
Goldeen – N/A
Lombre – N/A
Pelipper – Water Gun
Gyarados – N/A
Azumarill – Bubblebeam
Tentacool – Bubblebeam

Given the superior Special Attack Tentacool has over Azumarill, Tentacool wins. :3

Nosepass causes a tremor so powerful, not only the Numel faint, but also me and Flannery. We proceed the fight after we have gained consciousness again.

“You’re a monster, Tentacool. It’s that simple.”

Wha…? Sunny Day seriously hampers the effectiveness of Water moves.

Both Nosepass and Tentacool kicked the bucket…

“Kirlia, avenge their deaths!”

All right! 50% of all gym badges taken. 🙂

“Not you again! Listen, where did you get this damn newfangled Itemfinder? I’d like to speak with customer service.”

“This won’t make me go blind or anything, will it?”

Route 111 – The Desert of awesomeness. Seriously, does Kanto or Johto have desert? Huh? No, didn’t think so. 😛
Baltoy – Common
Cacnea – Rare
Sandshrew – Very Common
Trapinch – Very Common

Baltoy/Claydol: Special Defense and Defense are the highest stats of this beast, and Attack and Defense is quite lukewarm. Following the blitzkrieg doctrine of Pokémon, I am therefore no fan of this one. But it’s not bad, no doubt about it. It has two immunities and six resistances. Unfortunately it has as many weaknesses. If you use it, teach it Earthquake. (Ground, Psychic; Levitate)
S – Confusion
3 – Harden
5 – Rapid Spin
7 – Mud Slap
11 – Psybeam
15 – Rock Tomb
19 – Selfdestruct
25 – Ancientpower
31 – Sandstorm
36 – Hyper Beam
42 – Cosmic Power
55 – Explosion

Trapinch/Vibrava/Flygon: Flygon has a base stat total of 520. That’s five higher than Tentacruel. For a three stage Dragon monster. And has, well, too much Attack and too little Special Attack. If it had better Special Attack I might have liked it, what with its Dragonbreath and Crunch. But no, I can’t really say I’m a fan. (Ground, Dragon; Levitate)
S – Bite
9 – Sand Attack
17 – Faint Attack
25 – Sand Tomb
33 – Crunch
35 – Dragonbreath
41 – Screech
53 – Sandstorm
65 – Hyper Beam
Alternatively, if Trapinch doesn’t evolve:
41 – Dig
49 – Sandstorm
57 – Hyper Beam

Cacnea/Cacturne: For some reason, the developers of this game [expletive removed] loves Dark Pokémon with a high Attack, even though Dark is a Special Attack. Cacturne has as much Special Attack as it has Attack, though it unfortunately doesn’t learn Crunch, making it the Dark Pokémon in Hoenn with the highest Special Attack. Given the strategical significance of Dark Pokémon, having one can be a great advantage. Can pack a punch as a Grass demon as well. Given that Sand Veil raises Evasion in Sandstorms, it could be of use. (Grass, Dark; Sand Veil)
S – Poison Sting
S – Leer
5 – Absorb
9 – Growth
13 – Leech Seed
17 – Sand Attack
21 – Pin Missile
25 – Ingrain
29 – Faint Attack
35 – Spikes
41 – Needle Arm
47 – Cotton Spore (Lowers the opponent’s Speed by two points)
53 – Sandstorm

Sandshrew/Sandslash: I did think Ruby and Sapphire having Sandshrew as late as Route 113 was bad enough, now Emerald has Sandshrew in floppin’ Route 111. This is incredibly hard to justify, given the inferiority of it at this stage in the game. Don’t use it. (Ground; Sand Veil)
S – Scratch
6 – Defense Curl
11 – Sand Attack
17 – Poison Sting
24 – Slash
33 – Swift
42 – Fury Swipes
52 – Sand Tomb
62 – Sandstorm

This tower looks positively suspicious. I better investigate it.

…I’m getting too old for this.

After several broken ribs, I find myself at the top of the tower. I see two fossils. My mysterious inner voice tells me that I can only pick one. Decisions, decisions…

Lileep/Cradilly: Few resistances, slightly more weaknesses. That’s what the two Fossil Pokémon are all about. Has fairly crappy movesets, too. The stats are hardly enough to make up for it. (Rock/Grass; Suction Cups)
S – Astonish
8 – Constrict
15 – Acid
22 – Ingrain
29 – Confuse Ray
36 – Amnesia
48 – Ancientpower
60 – Stockpile
60 – Spit Up
60 – Swallow

Anorith/Armadillo: Is slightly less crappy compared to Lileep. (Rock, Bug; Battle Armour)
S – Scratch
7 – Harden
13 – Mud Sport
19 – Water Gun
25 – Metal Claw
31 – Protect
37 – Ancientpower
46 – Fury Cutter
55 – Slash
64 – Rock Blast

Anorith/Armadillo sucks the least, and my friend tells me she has a drawing of Anorith on her wall. Claw Fossil it is!

I have no idea how I survived that.

“One word: TELEPORT.”

If a thousand suns would burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one. I have become death, the shatterer of worlds.

This energetic little bugger is now officially part of the team. And I also now have 50 Pokémon on my Pokédex. :3

I have four badges. There will be no excuses this time around.

More ammunition against my father…

“My name is Henny. You are my father. Prepare to die!”

Norman has a level 27 Spinda, a level 27 Vigoroth, a level 29 Linoone and a level 31 Slaking.

“Er, Norman. You probably shouldn’t use Yawn when my Tentacruel is already asleep. Just a tip.”

Tentacruel fell asleep three times…

“Pfft. Did you really think you could topple Tentacruel?”

And then I danced the victory dance. Dad started crying, that poor sod.

“But I was just about to kill this monstrosity! Oh, all right then. He’s not worth the effort.”

“OK, you’re forgiven.”

Two gym leaders in one update. I guess that’ll do for today…